CHLOE MILLS

East Brisbane, QLD / Poet, Writer & Curator

Working from Home / Self-isolation

Chloe Mills is a Brisbane based poet, and co founder of literary zine concrescence. Her work has been published in various journals and online.

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I’ve been dealing with heartbreak in isolation. Which means I’ve been staying up until 3am most mornings, but when I do finally sleep, my dreams have been so vivid. They’ve most been about the girl I miss, but Thursday night when I finally fell asleep, I dreamt I was wearing an all white suit. Like the ones they wear in a clockwork orange. But instead of trawling the streets of East Brisbane for violence, I was skateboarding in the middle of the night. I was skateboarding down my childhood streets, in my dream, like when awake these days, they are pandemic empty, and so dark. While I was skateboarding I was so aware of the panic I felt about an item I’d lost, I didn’t know at this point what it was, but the feeling was exactly like when I turn my back in a park and one of my sons disappears behind a tree, and for a split second I feel like I’m never going to see them again. In my dream I was a really good skateboarder, I was so smooth along the Grey concrete ground of the familiar streets but at one point a wheel hit a rock and I fell off, when I looked up I wasn’t on the street anymore, I was somewhere floating in space, weightless, when I looked to my left I could see the object I was so desperately searching for, but it was just out of reach, and melting, in my dream, I started to cry. I woke up for real in the afternoon still crying, and then I got up, made coffee, and cut all my hair off into my kitchen sink.

(9/7/2020)